The Blood & Moone Files – Episode 2: Reunited (Final Edit) Written by Justin Evans | Final Showrunner Edit S1 - EP 2 - Reunited DOG BOY DAN Well, hello out there my beautiful babies, and ain’t it good to be back? I know I’m feeling good coming back as your hair-raising harbinger of the Blood & Moone Files. In our last segment, the Chan man had a moment of weakness and dipped into a mystery bottle of hooch. Now, that may not have been his finest moment, but sometimes a man’s gotta spend a night in a bottle to find out what really matters. Let’s hope he finds out quick—nobody I know feels their best with a demon haunting their dreams. And let’s not forget that Johnny boy, Mr. Moone himself, is back in town. Let’s see what he has to say for himself after spending the last 2 years MIA. So with not much further ado, I present Episode 2 of The Blood & Moone Files: "Reunited." And don’t it just feel so good to be reunited with a loved one, my babies... I think we’ll let John nurse the Chan man back to health and get him acclimated to his new predicament. Some folks find it hard to get out of the bottle they climbed into. Chandler’s bottle came with shackles. Let’s catch up with the boys tomorrow. INT. CHANDLER'S APARTMENT SFX: CHANDLER YAWNS, FOOTSTEPS. DISHES CLATTER. VACUUM HUMS. CHANDLER BLOOD (surprised) You’re cleaning? JOHN MOONE Yeah, man. This place was a sty. CHANDLER BLOOD Yeah... it’s not been a good run. JOHN MOONE (sincerely) I know. I’m sorry, Chan. I hated being gone. I wish I could’ve come back sooner. CHANDLER BLOOD Me too. So... are you home for good? JOHN MOONE For the foreseeable future, yeah. CHANDLER BLOOD Good. JOHN MOONE Speaking of foreseeable... have you... SFX: TV FLICKERS ON. STATIC. HELL TV COMMERCIAL PLAYS. CHANDLER BLOOD uhhh... JOHN MOONE (shushes Chandler) DELIVERY GUY (V.O.) Craving a slice of the future? Order Psychic Pizza! Our psychically charged toppings reveal your destiny with every bite. Side effects include sudden premonitions, pizza-induced hallucinations, and an insatiable craving for more. Now open at 1476 Ivy Street in Rambling Acres Mobile Home Park! SFX: POP. TV TURNS OFF. CHANDLER BLOOD What the hell was that? JOHN MOONE Exactly. Hell is right. Who do we know that loves TV more than you? CHANDLER BLOOD No one, probably. JOHN MOONE Right. So the demon's using your TV now. Shit. I was hoping it would stick to nightmares. CHANDLER BLOOD Nightmares... Wait. Did I tell you about the dream I had? JOHN MOONE You didn’t have to. CHANDLER BLOOD Sooo? JOHN MOONE Remember when I said I could explain? CHANDLER BLOOD Yeah JOHN MOONE Well, I’ve got *a lot* of explaining to do. CHANDLER BLOOD Ok, Lucy, I’m all ears, and did it say Rambling Acres? JOHN MOONE Yep. You wanna see what I’ve been doing for work? CHANDLER BLOOD Sure... SFX: TOSS. CHANDLER CATCHES A HEAVY VEST. JOHN MOONE Ok, we can talk about it on the way, and get some decent boots, I’m getting the feeling you’re gonna need them. We’re going to the trailer park. CHANDLER BLOOD Ok... Speaking of *mistic* pizza, though, I’m starving. Food first? JOHN MOONE I could eat. CHANDLER BLOOD Carl’s? JOHN MOONE Sounds good. SFX: ZIPPING. LACES TIE. KEYS JINGLE. DOOR SHUTS. INT. CARL'S DINER SFX: DOOR CHIME. BACKGROUND CHATTER. HOSTESS Hi! Just the two of you today? JOHN MOONE Yes, ma’am. HOSTESS Great. Booth or table? CHANDLER BLOOD Hi, Lisa. Been a while. You been good? HOSTESS (flatly) Chandler. I’m fine. JOHN MOONE A table’s fine. Thanks. HOSTESS Right this way. SFX: MENUS DOWN. HOSTESS (CONT'D) Your server will be Deb. She’ll be right with you. JOHN MOONE (to Chandler) I think she likes me. CHANDLER BLOOD At least one of us is liked. Surprised she didn’t recognize you. JOHN MOONE That’s Lisa Walker, right? From school? Damn. She’s looking good. CHANDLER BLOOD Yeah—and turned into an asshole. Like everyone else. JOHN MOONE You two fall out? CHANDLER BLOOD Not just her. Everyone treats me like I’ve got the plague. I almost left town. But Abe still needed help... and I thought you were out there somewhere and might come back home one day. JOHN MOONE Well, I was, and obviously I did. But to be clear, er-uh, to continue clarifying, when I was “out there” I wasn’t just exterminating. Diplomacy, too. That’s why I couldn’t reach out. Strict no-contact orders. CHANDLER BLOOD Right, right. So if I got this right: you track weird stuff, assess danger, report in, and sometimes go full-blown Van Helsing? JOHN MOONE That’s... actually a pretty good summary. CHANDLER BLOOD So, EIBEN Corp’s what, like a secret government monster task force? JOHN MOONE Not exactly government. More like... privatized containment and diplomacy. They deal with everything from cryptids to curses, mostly outside public knowledge. CHANDLER BLOOD And you’re just out here freelance ghostbusting for them? JOHN MOONE Freelance, yeah. They contract out when things get hairy—or hairy and tentacled. I do recon, threat assessment, and sometimes... cleanup. CHANDLER BLOOD Jesus. And I thought my biggest problem was getting trash thrown at me on Main Street. JOHN MOONE Trust me, I'd trade “ghostbusting” for that some days. SFX: SILVERWARE SET DOWN. DEB THE WAITRESS You boys had time to look? JOHN MOONE No menu needed, been coming here for years. Blue plate burger, water. DEB THE WAITRESS Hon, I’ve worked here 30 years and never seen you. Cheese? JOHN MOONE (confused) Uh, yes please. CHANDLER BLOOD Same, with sweet tea. SFX: MENUS TAKEN. JOHN MOONE What the hell was that? CHANDLER BLOOD Deb’s been like that for years. But you? We’ve come here since high school. She knows us. JOHN MOONE She knew you. Even Lisa didn’t seem to recognize me... CHANDLER BLOOD No, man. You look fitter, sure, but you’re still you. This town’s off. I’ve felt it for a while. JOHN MOONE I'll look into it. But back to the bottle—did you even read the letter? CHANDLER BLOOD (ashamed) Yeah. After. JOHN MOONE Alright. We play the hand we’re dealt. Let’s get through lunch, then we’ll sort it out. CHANDLER BLOOD John? JOHN MOONE Yeah? CHANDLER BLOOD How bad did I slip up? JOHN MOONE You slipped into some potentially deep shit, but I think that’s why things played out for me to come back to town. CHANDLER BLOOD (groans) JOHN MOONE Hey. I’m figuring it out. That’s why we’re going to the trailer park. Eat your burger. EXT. RAMBLING ACRES MOBILE HOME PARK SFX: GRAVEL CRUNCHES. DOORS OPEN. JOHN MOONE This is it. 1476. CHANDLER BLOOD What a dump. Like... I don’t remember it being this bad, now it’s like king of the dumps. JOHN MOONE No shit. CHANDLER BLOOD Hole. A real shithole. JOHN & CHANDLER (laugh) JOHN MOONE You’re not wrong. Looks like it’s been abandoned since the '90s. Check out that old Chevy. CHANDLER BLOOD Damn shame. That truck could’ve been worth something. Abe would lose his mind over it. Look at all that kudzu... it’d take a week just to dig it out. JOHN MOONE Keep sharp. We got this address for a reason, stay close. SFX: CREAK. A TOOLBOX LID SLAMS. A MAN JUMPS UP. REGGIE THE VAMPIRE I’ve had about enough! CHANDLER BLOOD Holy shit-biscuits! REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Ain’t no biscuits, just a sum’bitch tired of your leaky mouths talkin' trash about Charlene! SFX: REGGIE CLIMBS UP ON THE TRUCK FOR EFFECT. JOHN MOONE Easy now. We don’t want trouble. REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Trouble? Trouble's what y'all gonna get if you don’t back the hell up off my property! JOHN MOONE Sorry, man. Didn’t mean disrespect to Charlene. We just want to ask some questions. REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Y'all cops? I ain’t done sheeyit! SFX: HE JUMPS DOWN. CHANDLER BLOOD I’m the town constable. JOHN MOONE Shut the fuck up, Chan. CHANDLER BLOOD Sorry. JOHN MOONE Sorry about that. I’m John. This is my partner Chandler. REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Aight, John. Off my damn property. But... what’s a constable? CHANDLER BLOOD A constable is a dually appointed ser— JOHN MOONE Chan! CHANDLER BLOOD Right. Sorry. Shutting up. JOHN MOONE Okay man, real question. You’re not fully human, are you? SFX: OMINOUS SCORE WIND UP REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Who *are* youins? JOHN MOONE Like I said, name’s John. And I think you’re a daylighter. REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Name’s Reggie. SFX: HANDSHAKE. SLAP OF PALMS. REGGIE THE VAMPIRE Nice to meet ya, John. I might be a daywalker but I ain’t never seen another like me 'round these parts, so you got something different about you too, huh? Well hell, seems like ya'll might just be the help I been lookin' for. DOG BOY DAN Well now, ain’t that something? The boys found themselves a vamp. Not the stylish kind from the picture shows, but a vampire just the same. Style’s a personal choice—and a mullet, jorts, and a Dale Earnhardt tee ain’t exactly unnatural 'round these parts. But a vamp who sleeps in a pickup toolbox and walks in daylight? Now that’s strange, even for supernatural circles. So be sure to tune back in next time, babies, if you wanna know more about the redneck vampire of East Tennessee. (Outro credits, etc.)